I stopped reading news about Trinidad and Tobago. Because it was affecting me. But then I started back and I got depressed and my mood went dark like that Kes concert the police in Atlanta shut down.
Indian Arrival Day was rough in Trinidad.
In Arima a Venezuelan woman was kidnapped and two men were shot dead by a group of fake police.
On Indian Arrival Day, while Chef Jason was probably at home, crying and thinking Pork is Life, thieves in Sangre Grande stole 22 manhole covers. 22 manhole covers! Forgive my English. it’s more than one; so it’s menhole covers.
It’s scary, the blatant disregard people have for government property and human safety, but as you know menhole covers have scrap iron value. So all in the name of a dollar you go out there and steal 22 menhole covers. What are you all going to steal next? Safety barriers along the roads?
Stealing menhole covers is an injustice, not just to the government and school children who already have to walk along a pavement which looks lower than the road, this is an injustice to Pennywise; not Pennywise the cosmetic store, Pennywise the clown. Without menhole covers where is Pennywise going to hide? Where are Ninja Turtles going to hide?
Over the long weekend thieves broke into a bank. The one in Couva. The one next to Mario’s. The police station right across the road? They tunneled into the bank. And you know how police in Trinidad can’t detect anything; they can’t even detect loud noise.
Perhaps because the police didn’t hear anything that’s what prompted one journalist to write, “It is suspected that tools were used in the criminal operation.”
It sounds like something an embarrassed policeman would say to a reporter.
“Well, Ma’am, we didn’t hear anything so we suspect that tools were used. Our lists of suspects include Superman and Nightcrawler because we didn’t hear a thing.”
Can you imagine the chaos when bank officials reached to work on Tuesday and saw big holes in the concrete wall and floor and safety deposit boxes scattered everywhere. They probably bust a cuss. I imagine the second thing that came out the manager’s mouth was
“But them police deaf or what?”
Then you’re scrambling to call the police but no one knows the number for Couva Police Station, so you open the front door and start shouting at a policeman standing outside the police station:
“Somebody break in the bank.”
And the policeman is like
“Somebody break in the bank!”
“What yuh say?”
“Somebody break in the bank”
And the officer is like, “You feel I is Superman or what? I can’t hear you from so far.”
And given all these fees! USD $2 per month to have a US ACCOUNT; 8 DOLLARS TO DEPOSIT A CHEQUE AT THE TELLER; AND 10 DOLLARS FOR A PAPER STATEMENT ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE ONLINE BANKING, YOU’D THINK BY NOW THE BANKS WOULD BE ABLE TO AFFORD LASERS TO PROTECT YOUR MONEY. TELL ME THAT ALTHOUGH THE POLICE DIDN’T HEAR A THING, THAT ALLYUH HAVE LASERS AND IT’S THE MAN FROM OCEAN’S 12 WHO BREAK INTO THE BANK.
Nestle has apologised for a Maggi ad posted on Indian Arrival Day. The ad depicted Indian food in an Indian musical instrument. And, Nestle, while we’re on the topic of apology, for the longest while, you all owe the people of Trinidad and Tobago a huge apology. For them stupid paper straws allyuh does sell people.
Anyway, The number for the Couva Police station is (868) 636-2333.
Redwall News! It better than blues!